Yesterday I was drawn to watch back Superman Two with Christopher Reeves. He is the superman I watched first.
I was wondering how come that people like so much superheroes?
How come that we all put on a pedestal those phenomenon archetypes and sooth ourselves watching them.
I assume we are watching them because it bring us some kind of wellbeing. Why would the avengers series would be so much successful if not. Something is happening to us when focusing on those models. Something is bringing us some kind of comfort, or hope, or explanation.
It doesn’t make any sense denying an impulse watching those super, extra, strong, resilient and brave characters..right? What is the missing piece that they are bringing to the table? Or is it a missing peace?
Back to superman. He is interesting to me as he is showing two faces. He can be clark Kent. Or he can be Kal-El, his kryptonian name. Superman is not like Spiderman…another super famous superhero. Spiderman is a mutated human, whereas superman is originally an extra terrestre. Adopted by a human couple, Who found him in a basket cot….that reminds me of another stories. Heracles legend in particular.
So I looked carefully at clark Kent and realised that he chose to be a journalist. Why would he pick this profession? He is superman. He could have been anything. Assuming his cognitive abilities. That’s undeniable. He is super . Super strong, super flex, super smart…and super kind.
This is actually I think why people like superman. I believe superman has the super strength to be kind and loving. But that’s another topic I think.
Now that I have another perspective on the purpose of legends and stories…and symbolism…I couldn’t ignore the fact that superman has chosen to work as a journalist when wearing the mask of clark Kent. Because it is a mask. When in disguise, He wears glasses, acts clumsy and plays it with a touch of naivety. When using his real identity…he has the body language of a super extra confident guy…so confident that he flies man!
When I believe I can fly: I am off limit…I believe I can do anything I want.
If I have laser eyes, I am laser focused. That means that my brain becomes a shooting tool to make me manifest anything I desire. I am in a flow mode.
And if I am superman. I stand tall. My shoulders back, and my hands on my hips. The super confident pose. That pose, I tend to use it in front of the mirror to get my brain to get used to this idea…watch me well lady…you are confident like this image you see! The brain doesn’t know the difference…he believes what he sees. If I see it often, it must be true then!
So why on earth superman would want to play it like a news detective? He could be the most influential guy on earth. His human counterpart, lex author has this desire to control, to have power over people…that is the logical move…but not for superman.
So what is it about journalism. It is a job where you investigate and your purpose is to inform. To let people know what he considers to be a valuable information. With information, we understand, we can think logically, or rationally.
I noticed that when I go to the doctor. I tend to feel calmer, safer and more relaxed when the doctors explains to me in a factual way what is he doing to me. When I understand the facts, my fear lowers. I am much less anxious. I feel respected. The dr trusts that I am smart enough to understand and make possibly a mindful decision about my health.
Because, for me Fear peaks, anxiety starts, fight and flight mode commences when I am worried about what might happen. I am in the dark. There are things that I don’t know that are making me nervous.
Anxiety, specifically is the fear of what might happen in the future.
Let’s say, I have been experiencing some difficult situations and I want to make sure that it will not happen again. The problem is that nobody knows the future. Nobody knows the date of our death. Yet, we all know that this will happen.
The only fear that we could reasonably have is always related to that: the fear of death.
One of the most effective technique to overcome anxiety is to face it. You take 30 minutes a day, let’s say every day at the same time…and you put yourself in this feeling. You imagine what would happen if….till you face the ultimate “what would happen if…”
Same as rejection. Rejection is a tough feeling too. Let’s say, you are superman and you asks someone out…and the lady says no. or imagine, you apply for a job and the recruiter says to you: no, we don’t want you. Or you are asking a favour to a new friend, and they simply reject you by a condescending way: oh, sweetheart! You are so cute!
That feels rough, you might feel shameful, not good enough to be accepted. Anger might take over, or you can simply drown into sadness.
Why would we wear a mask then. Not saying the truth. Why did superman play it so dumb in a clark Kent suit?
Because he wants to play it invisible. So nobody could understand how incredible he is. How beautiful his soul is, how handsome he is!
Still, what is the danger to him to show himself. I am sure he could have rented any flat in metropolis as superman. He is a hero! Why does he hide? He could have taken any job. Why would he choose to inform people.
The main skill of a journalist is to differentiate between opinions and facts. Opinions are related to beliefs, perpectives and ideology system. An opinion generates a feeling. A fact doesn’t. This is the main job of a journalist. To give facts so people can make a rational opinion. Or have a new perspective.
A fact has the power of authenticity and truth. It is usually simple and is undeniable. As a scientific factual experiment. Or 2+2=4.
Superman would be then a truth seeker. He seeks to find the truth. Or maybe he just wants to learn, to understand better. You have different kind of being a journalist. You can just have some passion for science and you write mainly about animals. That would make you investigate and search for everything related to that subject.
When he is not superman, clark Kent is an information investigator. He seeks to learn, to acquire knowledge. When he is superman, he serves the community. Protects other beings. Saves those who need support. He is strong enough and can protect.
As a true leader. He looks after people. He is concerned of their wellbeing. He feels responsible for the humans he lives among.
But why on earth does he do that? He can go and explore other planets. Maybe other species that are less dumb…seriously, he might have felt a bit discouraged by humans…especially someone who is that kind.
Why is he kind like that anyway? What does he gain in return?
And why do we find him so fascinating?
No, it is not enough to say, it’s just a story and it sells so we keep it.
When I found out about the iceberg metaphor I could understand why the titanic story had such successful impact in the cinema industry. It speaks to us. We are all concerned by it. We all have a mind in a form of a big ship and we all crash into our subconscious mind who controls our destiny in life. We cannot deny that. Scientifically, nor wisely. It is a fact. We have a subconscious mind that is responsible for our automatic functioning and responses.
Let’s imagine. We are all interested only in what is specifically personal. Something that gives me a piece of my identity puzzle will capture my attention. If the piece of my puzzle has no blue colour, I will toss this piece. Right. So imagine, only what is related to my puzzle picture, my puzzle identity is going to catch my attention.
So if we all like superman: that means that he is part of our puzzle. He has something to teach us about our true identity. Through the symbol superman, we might find out more about our super powers. Maybe, we could see more about ourselves in clark Kent, and we cannot believe that we can be superman.
We don’t believe in ourselves to be like him. So we spread a rumour about him.
We made him come from a different planet.
No way Jose!!! Superman an earth guy? Are you kidding?
And why did we make him look so dumb and play it clark Kent. Maybe he is afraid to be rejected? So he wears a mask.
Maybe if people would see someone like him, they will feel jealous and reject him. Because he is too much super!
Sometimes I feel jealous…when I have a belief that I can’t do it myself. If I believe that I cannot be superman…I will be jealous of him.
So superman plays it low frequency, and acts like he is even dumber that the most average guy on earth. He plays it safe…because when people are jealous, they can hurt you, reject you…it’s hard to feel rejected. If we are sensitive, we may associate it with “I don’t love you”. And that is unbearable.
So if we have the rejection wound. Anything that comes to a “no” can ignite this fear. This dangerous line to us.
I have experienced 3 rejections this week…3 different types. One with someone who I love deeply who refused to say “hello”…, the second rejection was a “a none answer”, and the 3rd one was about “not saying truly no, and changing the mood”.
Mektoub or coincidence. It is the same to me. When it comes loud like this, I cannot deny anymore the word rejection.
I realised that even if it seems harsh…it is much softer to me to receive a specific no than a confusing neither yes or no. because with the no…I feel respected enough. No doesn’t mean you are not good enough. No means simply no. for extra multiple reasons, no has nothing personal.
Whereas not answering is highly confusing. It can automatically escalate to distorted reckoning. I will start assuming scenarios that might come to none relevant assumptions. One of them would be: you are not considering me. You think I am not worthy enough of your honesty….etc etc.
The thing about the wounds is that it generally plays between those who have the same tag. You will face that scenario only with those who have the same scar. The same level of sensitivity..so you get the message right.
That is what I observed.
So if I am rejected, it comes from people who have the same wound. And the same level of wounding. How is that supposed to help?
It lowers the pain. Not that you are happy for them to feel the same pain. It is just an indicator to flip the scenario. I have been rejected by someone who is projecting his wound on me too.
And thankfully, I can now deal with my puzzle. Maybe, thanks to that. I have no longer the need to wear clark Kent glasses.
Maybe, I will feel confident enough to face the rejectors. And ask why no answer? Or simply move on with this.
As I was investigating about the subject…I discovered the TeDx talk of a clever man, named Jia Jiang. Who speaks about his experiment: facing 100 days of rejections. The point: desensitise himself from the pain of rejection. So the first day, he goes out and ask a perfect stranger to give him 100$. The guy says no, and asks why. Jia Jiang runs away. And faces the fact that he was so scared that he just run from the shame he just felt.
The second day, he asks for a burger refill…he receives a no again. But this time he stays till the conversation finishes. The 3rd day, he asks a Starbucks shop manager to let him be a door greeter…the manager showed a stiff face..to that Jia asks him if it sounded weired…as the manager felt relieved by JIA who showed emotional intelligence and no psychiatric disorder, he agreed to the request and let him do the job.
And the interesting one is when he offers to plant a flower to a random house in his neighbourhood. The guy says no…to that Jia asks why? And that allowed the man to explains that he has a dog who will certainly destroy the plant. And he even offered an alternative solution by referring him to his neighbour.
The why question could come because Jim has faced the feeling of rejection already 3 days on a row. And ridicule didn’t kill him. As he is putting himself into a rejection scenario possibility, he doesn’t anymore fear it…the feeling has been neutralised, And now he can be focused on the information.
He can listen and be mindful of the no reasons.
Maybe what is preventing us to discover our full picture and see that our beauty is as superman’s is simply our fear to be rejected.
I feel super grateful to Jia JIANG who made me laugh. Laughing is definitely the most powerful therapy I know.
Maybe also, superman is using clark Kent to have fun. Simply have a good laugh. Simply use humour to have a fun and joyful day. Cause, come on…if he is only perfect: where is the fun guys? He must need to be less serious. Fart a bit, laugh a lot…and tell lois: “ chill JAMAL, chill ! ”
At the end of the day, we only want to have a fun journey…meaningfully joyful journey.
I wish you all the most powerful skill of superman: being cheerfully self-deprecating…if we can laugh of ourselves, that must be that we truly accept every piece of our identity puzzle.
I believe in you as much as I love superman!
And I Love you all
Have a super day my friends!
Lamia PABION
PS: here is the link to Jia Jang TedX talk:
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