What does it mean find my inner gem?
They will all tell you that. Having a goal is what differentiate those who are successful from those who are not.
Now, success is not something that we all agree on. And that’s exactly the exquisite part of life. Success is not having money or having a job, being married and having kids. Success is when we can see that we’ve reached our goal…or, according to Earl Nightingale "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal”.
In that idea, progress is a key indicator. Going toward a goal is the sweet spot. No matter what you reach. Because, let’s be honest. We may know what we want, but how many of us have shifted their minds during the journey? I guess a lot.
So the goal is important, yes…but it might evolve with time. When having a clearer idea of what we are, what we need, what makes us feel good about ourselves, that sharpens the idea of what we really want.
Goals for me have always been about something tangible I can fix my attention on. I know that the goal is measurable, I can see that I need to put some effort on it so it gets real, perceptible, palpable. Otherwise it will not happen.
Yet a goal, doesn’t tell me who I am. What is my true essence. What is it about me that matters and that will make my life have a meaning. Why am I here?
A professional goal can be a life purpose. Or not. Mainly. it doesn’t make sense if it was only that. So choosing what I am supposed to do is kind of a quest.
Years in recruitment have shown me something very valuable. The pedigree doesn’t mean anything. You might succeed getting a prestigious degree in some fancy university, it will not make you a true leader. Nor a happy human being.
Even having been employed in a fancy position doesn’t make you super special or gifted to be a super executive.
I love the experience of Steve Jobs, especially the part when he hired a super fancy executive to help him run the company he created. The same guy who was previously head of a prestigious big company, selling sweet liquid to drink. He might have been a good fit for that company, obviously not with the one that Steve jobs handed him.
We think that it is related to the young experience of Steve jobs running in a profitable way a high investing entity. It is not.
Remember, it is always related to the puzzle.
Your puzzle is your life purpose. You get to know it by moving on. Setting goals. Steve’s jobs goal was his company. His baby. But he got kicked out of it. Believing that he has failed is not getting the big picture. Not seeing the whole puzzle.
In this case, his goal was absolutely valid. But to get to it, he had to deal with his emotional wounds. And obviously, he had a betrayal wound to deal with. The abandonment wound is also recognisable in that kind of experience.
That experience has forced him to face the emotional pain he was carrying with him.
The Goal Apple has made him find a way…not only build personal computers or phones. A way to play his puzzle.
He didn’t go to university, despite the fact that his parents had to make a big stretch to fund his education. That also brings a bucket of guilt to get clear with.
His goal didn’t fail. His life purpose was on track…he had to go through this pain clearing. Get clearer about what he really wanted. Face the wound and heal it.
Facing the wound is inevitable.
There is one quote from Rumi that I finally understood when I was studying hypnosis.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
Where we have suffered, Where our wound is, we find our purpose. We find our goals.
So if I would go for a set of rules to get to find my purpose. I would start like this:
It is always related to my puzzle. Everything I enjoy, everything that brings me joy has a huge piece of my puzzle. When I finish the puzzle, I know who I am.
Your biggest weakness is your super power. Flip the scenario and you will find what you are good at. A strategic piece of your puzzle.
Your life purpose is always related to serving. Weather directly serving the good. Or by living a life that will inspire. Serving is making other’s life easier.
The shortest way to live your life purpose is through emotional healing. No shortcut to that what so ever.
Everything is mirrored: what you love is always related to what you love about yourself. What you despise is always what you don’t like about yourself. And what you don’t like is about the wound that you carry, not about your self worth.
When you reach true self love, it means that you are at peace with everything you are. No more guilt, no hatred. It is true calm in your mind and body…it is more likely that you found also what is your life purpose.
A true goal is always about how you want to feel. It is never about the realisation. Emotions are the goal. If you don’t feel good at the end of the day with what you are doing. Change, reboot, redirect.
7 rules to love myself and to find my life purpose.
If we are feeling depressed, it is because we lost hope. Somehow, everything we do doesn’t workout as we planned. So we give up. We navigate in a low vibrational energy to protect ourselves. A life with no hope is very difficult to sustain.
If we are angry, that is also because life is pushing us through our core values. We cannot accept it so we fight it. Anger gives us the energy to stay alive…but it is very difficult to keep up on a long run. We might become resentful, and bitter.
If we end up sick and our body is at un ease…it means that we have been pushing away our feelings. We are pushing away our emotions and that gets stuck in a macerating cauldron. Nothing good is gonna come up from it. So better to clean the cooking pot.
If we are addicted to anything. Alcohol, cigarets, drugs, sugar, chocolate, tv, scrolling. Anything. It is always related to an emotional pain. And that addiction is making us escaping that pain. Period. Remember, an addiction is when we have not more freedom to choose. Wherever our will is, the addiction is stronger and gets us to keep on with it. It is simply a bad habit.
Most of the time, we didn’t do anything wrong. It is just a family pain memory that has not been processed. Sometimes we feel guilty and we don’t even know why. We are just stuck with an emotion that keeps us enslaved in a loop of guilt.
Everything is related to our programming.
And guess what. Programming has the same rules than Fight Club’s Rules:
Rule number One: you don’t talk about fight club!
Rule number Two: you don’t talk about fight club!
Taylor Darden is your subconscious mind. He has organised for you a fight club so you can survive. So you can survive the jungle of emotional pain that is engrained in your mind. Therefore, he gives you tools to fight…he gives you tools to desensitize yourself from pain. So you get tougher, immunised from a heart stroke.
So, it’s up to us. If we want to follow him, in this dirty house. With broken teeth and erring people as followers.
Or we can Get conscious about it…and choose how we want to feel.
That is the goal.
Nothing else matters.
Finding your gem is finding how you want to feel about yourself. Finding you gem is getting back to your heart as he is the only source to trust.
Your heart knows what is your life purpose.
Finding your inner gem is learning to speak your heart’s language.
No MBA will teach you that. No degree will help you fulfil that life need…you are the only one who can play the puzzle of your life.
You just need to want it.
I love you all,
I wish you a blessed day!
Lamia PABION
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